she peed on how many people?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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