You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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