Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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