If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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