My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
