How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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