can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
