This girl is more easily done than said...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
