It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
