pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
