I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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