with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
