what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
