I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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