Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
