i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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