I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
