how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize