Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
