So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize