I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize