so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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