So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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