We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
