so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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