I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
