i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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