it's not cheating when I paid for it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
