Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
