listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Welp...herpes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
