I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
