i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i think i just lost a toe
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
