he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
