Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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