and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
