Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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