apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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