look no pants
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize