I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
did i walk over a car last night?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
