just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have fence marks all over my body
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
