since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
