her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
