You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
