I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
