Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
