you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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