But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
