I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
