Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
