maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
