just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize