if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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