i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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