Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
as a side note pls kill me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
