I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Green mimosas i think yes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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