i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
we're so committed to being not committed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
