he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This toilet bowl is my home.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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