We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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