playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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