kristin has been a bad kristin
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
