Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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