You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
