i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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